How To Know He Is Not Into You

He Constantly Talks About His Ex: It's fine to bring up the ex once in a while under very neutral contexts, e.g.,  "My ex has the kids this week." But talking incessantly about prior relationships is tacky and might also imply that there are still some unresolved issues lingering in his head, whether it's rage, resentment or doubt. This rule applies to you too. Do not mention your previous love life and its contents, including: pet names, restraining orders or sex.

He tells you he's not ready for a relationship: I can't believe how many times I've heard women dismiss this statement and continue pursuing unavailable men. These guys will flat out tell you that they don't want to commit to you, but here you are, baking them cookies, enjoying naked sleepovers and gushing to all your girlfriends about what a catch he is. Because, "once he sees how great you are,  he will surely commit.
If this is you, please find someone to slap you back into reality.

He wants to get into a relationship immediately: Refusing to commit to you is not a good thing, but neither is moving into a relationship at lightning speed. Relax, you aren't Benjamin Button-- you don't have five minutes to fall in love and have babies. If your man tells you he loves you or wants to commit to you during or shortly after the first date, something is up. (Unless of course, you do too, and it's love at first sight for both of you.)

He hasn't asked you out: This should be a given, but I can't tell you how many times I've heard people texting or g-chatting for months and months before any attempt at physical contact is made.  If you're seeking mild flirtation or a virtual relationship, texting is fine-but if you want something more, then he needs to make a move in real life. If you're at a point where you don't want to wait anymore, stop waiting. You shouldn't have to force someone to ask you out.

He doesn't let you go near his phone:  This is also a given, in my opinion. But I have firsthand witnessed relationships in which phones are private property, locked and guarded with military-like defense systems. If your partner has issues about letting you see his phone, then chances are, he's hiding something sketchy.

 No Chemistry! He may have a great career, a nice apartment with hardwood floors, a humanitarian heart and killer abs, but if he doesn't make your heart all warm and fuzzy, he's not it. Chemistry isn't instant-- sometimes, it can be discovered gradually, like in these situations. But, after a certain point, you will know if that spark is missing.  And if that's the case, be gentle and kind. After all, wouldn't you want to be let down just as easy if someone just wasn't that into you?

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Benefits Of Intimacy In Marriage

This post is for couples who have accepted sex in their relationship and couples who are still contemplating. For those who aren't married, having a sexless relationship isn't bad but to those married but still starve their partners of sex, here are five reasons why you should rethink. Sex can be a much more passionate experience when you share it with a meaningful partner. Sex may feel like a mere means of pleasure and fun but there is a lot of good that it can do for your relationship. To some people sex may seem overrated, but we give you five reasons why sex is beneficial for your relationship.

Keeps you connected
Sex is an intimate experience, which can bring you closer to your partner not just physically but emotionally. Your bedroom chemistry can also improve the chemistry in your relationship. A sexless relationship can become vulnerable over time and therefore, you need sex to keep the fire burning.

Keeps stress at bay
With the kind of lives we live, stress has become an integral part of it. This often takes a toll on your relationship. However, research shows that sex releases a feel-good chemical in the brain, which reduces stress levels. Instead of resorting to antidepressants, engage in a heated sex session to improve your well being and strengthen your relationship.

 
Keeps the romance alive
Sex may seem like a physical activity but it has an emotional appeal to it. It causes the body to release oxytocin, which is also called the love hormone that will make you feel that you need to love and trust your partner. 

Keeps the hormones balanced
We’ve already mentioned that being sexually active will calm stress but apart from that it also helps your body maintain hormonal balance. This hormonal balance will calm other emotional problems like depression and anxiety and will also increase fertility.

Keeps you both healthy
Sex can also benefit your overall health. Sex can also make you more flexible. It also acts as a metabolic and immune booster and can also fight the ageing process. This ensures that it not only keeps you and your partner healthy but also keeps your relationship vibrant.

Evelyn's Tale

Wale wanted to know every tiny detail that had to do with me. I didn't know how my mum would feel knowing I had a child out of wedlock so I didn't hesitate at all to take him to my mum since the pregnancy was still young and not really noticeable. Wale introduced me to all his friends, colleagues at work and even some of his extended family members. I was home! We were both in love. Wale didn't hide anything from me, so I presumed. 

One of the days Wale and I weren't together, mum asked to see me.

How long have you known this young man? Mum asked with concern in her eyes.

Six months, I lied.

I had known wale for three months and it felt like five years. 

Marriage isn't something you rush into honey, my mum sighed as she adjusted her spectacles on her slender nose bridge.

I had something special with my husband, your father. We courted for two years and I still didn't know everything about him after five years of marriage.

Trying hard not to look into her eyes, I assured her that Wale and I were the perfect match and I only hoped she believed me.

                            . . .
The wedding date was finally fixed and both of our family members were busy making sure everything was going as planned. We had gotten a venue and both families agreed on Ikeja in Lagos state Nigeria. I wanted something small but Wale's mum wouldn't hear of it. She wanted her first son's wedding to be grand. She wanted it to be on the mouths of Lagos party goers and  if possible all Nigerians. I did not see any reason for the extravagant ceremony but I had no choice than to listen to my future mother-in-law.
A week to the wedding, I barely saw Wale. He was so busy with both work and preparations. Mum also felt I shouldn't see him during that week so that it would be more magical on the wedding day. I didn't really care if it was not magical. Whatever that means,  I only wanted to see my Wale.
So,  three days to our wedding, I decided to pay Wale a surprise visit at his place in Ajah, Lagos state.
It wasn't the first time I had come around without telling him. But this time Wale was furious. Through out the times I knew Wale, he had never raised his voice on me or got that angry.
I apologised without knowing why and asked him if everything was fine. He asked me to wait  outside while he got the keys to his car, so he would drop me off claiming he had an important conference to attend.
I felt disappointed so I kept silent as he drove me back to my place.
That night he called me to apologize for  flaring up and said he had been stressed because of the wedding and work. 

It's okay,  I said in a tiny voice choked up in tears. 

Baby, are you crying? Wale's deep voice echoed through the phone.
I couldn't speak much because a lot of strange thoughts were going through my head.
What if he had someone else? No!! I shook the thought off my head.
What if this was a mistake.. What if I didn't really know him.. What if ...what if... What if... My brain needed a chill. So I managed to tell Wale I was fine and just had a slight headache and needed to go get aspirin from the kitchen.
  He wasn't convinced but he still had to get off the phone.
After I felt relief from the pill I had taken. I knelt down and prayed to God. I hadn't done that in along while. I needed guidance. I knew it was too late to know more about Wale. So I prayed to God to make our relationship in marriage last. ...
To be continued

Evelyn's Tale

I waited patiently for a day I'd have the courage to walk out of this relationship. I loved Wale with everything I was made of. I wondered how I would survive without him. Despite all Wale's bad sides, Wale was the sweetest person I had come across when he wasn't in a bad mood. Before I married Wale, I heard stories about abusive relationships. Men hitting their wives and some tough women beating their husbands. I grew up with a single mum, so I never had the opportunity to know what it looked like for a man and woman to live together. Wale changed 3months after our wedding. After he lost his job he suddenly changed. He became very aggressive and short tempered. I tried hard to stay away from him but even that pissed him off. He accused me of seeing someone else and that  was the reason I stayed away from him. Every little thing I did seemed to make him angry. Some days he would be so sweet to me but other days it was a war zone.
I met Wale at the store I once worked. He came in with a lady friend I assumed was his girlfriend. He was very chatty and extremely friendly with every one in the store. The next day he came in and asked for my number. From there, we started going out until i got pregnant. Surprisingly, Wale was excited about the baby. He became so sweet to me. Asked me to stop work and move into his place. Wale was everything I dreamt of. He was my fairytale prince charming. He did the laundry, made breakfast most of the time and spoilt me with gifts. Wale asked to see my parents and introduced me to his mum. Could all of this be real? I asked my self..... To be continued
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